Airing It Out(side)

It’s Friday here in the Boston area, and finally a relief from the blistering heat that has blanketed the state for the past few days. Today’s forecast is for temps in the 80’s with some thundershowers to cool things off. Every year, it seems as if we get one brief preview of the upcoming summer heat, and it is always then that Coach states “we need to get the air conditioners in the windows TODAY.” Now let me point out that I have attempted to persuade him, on more than one occasion, that perhaps central air conditioning might be a wise investment, saving us from the annual “haul them out of the closets and install them in the windows” dance that we do with the portable AC units. He is of the belief, however, that if James Buchanan (the US President when our house was built in 1857) could live in the White House without air conditioning, then we should be of hardy enough stock to do the same. Can I point out that I am almost 100% certain that the White House is now centrally air-conditioned in 2012!?!

SO… the dance begins. We go searching in the closets for three units, one for each upstairs window. Since our home is a cape cod style house, we are essentially living in the attic upstairs- hotter than blazes during a heat wave. Then I remember that the unit we had in our bedroom previously had finally kicked the bucket last summer and was tossed. I also recalled that the one previous to that had an unfortunate and abrupt ending to its “shelf-life”. The story goes something like this:

Coach: “Come help me get this AC unit in the window. (as he hoists it up on to the inside windowsill). Can you hold this for a minute?”

Me: “OK” (as I place ONE FINGER against the unit to stabilize it-you know where this is going, right?)

Coach: “OK, I just need to adjust the tilt angle” (as he whips the window open!)

Me: “Oh, x#$#!!!!” (yeah, that fingertip balance thing not happening- air conditioner falls out of the window and smashes to the ground two stories below)

Coach (angrily): “Why the hell did you let it go!?!?!?!?” (as he stomps down the stairs to go retrieve the unit. Actually, he had to dig it out of the muddy ground…he was not amused) This is not the actual pic, although it would be nice to live next door to a wine bar…

Me: Immediately pick up the phone and call my mom- who else do you call when you need a friend, a shoulder to cry on or to share something so ridiculously funny!? She can’t understand what I am saying because I am doubled-over, laughing hysterically…until I hear Coach coming back up the stairs, broken air conditioner in his arms, covered in dirt with sprays of grass sticking out of the bent and broken corners (this was before cell phones with cameras- so unfortunately, no pics)

Needless to say, that AC unit never made it back into the window, the EPA frowns on leaking Freon into the ozone layer- apparently that hole is big enough already.

Two units down, one to go. The installation of AC #3-the last unit standing-was pretty uneventful despite the fact that it was Wednesday night at 8 PM, and we were both hot and tired. This unit is very old-it’s not even DIGITAL!! Therefore, the two “wingy” things- you know, the little accordians that you pull over to the side to block out the bugs and birds and stuff? Well that was broken…on both sides. Duct tape to the rescue. Desperate times call for desperate measures. At least the gray matches my night stand. And, I discovered another use for duct tape- cup holders for margaritas!!!

Hope you have a cool day…Susan